Holding on and Letting Go

By Patricia • Family Life • 6 Sep 2013


I woke up in a strange place a few weeks ago and stepped outside to a crisp and chilly autumn morning. This was in a mid August week, when I was used to wearing shorts and tank tops, and still at a safe distance from the coming arguments with Sofia regarding her need to wear pants. I don’t know what it was about the air that sent a chill down my spine with realizations that went deeper than my skin.

We’re no longer in Canada where we lived most of our lives, or Romania where we made a home for the past 4 years. We are now in another new country, where fall begins in August and I can only imagine what that means for the coming winter months. The summer is fading fast, a new school year is about to begin and I’m just slowly starting to realize the changes that have taken place this past year and how to catch up with my own breath.

As usual, with the coming of the fall (being my favourite season), I try to get Sofia as excited as possible about the beauty of this season. We’ve managed to hold on to our jarring tradition which we started last year and incorporated some new recipes to the collection.


We jarred our usual tomatoes sauces, a small pear jam with the last of the delicious pears from our backyard, raspberry jams, spicy pepper sauce and even ketchup for the first time.





My husband’s sweet ketchup which the kids finished within a week!IMG_6439

We let go of our healthy eating tendencies to indulge in some delicious unhealthy fall treats – home made caramel apples.


I had to let go of my perfectionist tendencies since we didn’t have any wooden sticks for our apples, and instead just stuck a fork into them as my husband suggested.


In the front of our house is a beautiful rose bush with an fragrance you can smell as soon as you step outside. I was sad to see it slowly wilting away as the days progressively got colder and shorter. So I decided to find a way of holding on to that sweet aroma and taste. Sofia and I made a delicious rose jam to remind us of the last beautiful blossoms.IMG_6184

The fall brings another bitter-sweet event in our lives, my baby boy’s (2nd) birthday. And while I am busy trying to hold on to the precious moments when he is still my cuddle-bug, he’s slowly letting go of his infancy.



But in moments like these, I know he’s still my baby. Moments when he’s so tired and trying to fight taking his nap until the point that he falls asleep with his toy or spoon in his hand.



Moments when he comes to me and says ”ouchie” and makes me kiss his tiny boo-boos even when he doesn’t have any. When he gives me every finger and toe and laughs as I kiss them all better because he knows he’s just a big suck who loves his mamas kisses. Moments like these I know he will always be my baby, even when I will have to let him go.


Friday nights used to be our pizza nights. Ernest had the recipe down perfectly after many a trial and error. When we wanted to celebrate, were feeling under the weather, or the pressures of exams, we had an amazing little restaurant that we could order pizza, pastries, appetizers and even wine from. With the new changes in our diet and having to eat gluten-free, it brought on a whole new lifestyle for us. We are already vegetarian, milk and egg free, and now gluten free. I love bread, we all did. And now we’ve had to adapt and let go of our old ways. Ernest is (very successfully) trying to master the art of the gluten-free pizza dough and we’re still enjoying our Friday night (gluten-free) pizza parties.


And I am definitely not letting go of my baking passion. I have made quite a few amazing gluten-free treats, like this dark chocolate banana bread, but I know I still have a lot to learn about baking with different flours. The kids are definitely not complaining as every experiment of mine or Ernest’s just means more spoons for them to lick and treats to finish off.


Our house is slowly starting to feel more like a home, a familiar place to wake up in. A serene space to practice yoga in, that is all ours. A place where we can build again – new adventures, hopes and dreams.


A place that, even though will only be our home for a short year, will be a place worth holding on to. With memories that will make it hard to let go of. Isn’t that what life is all about, after all? Holding on and letting go. We do it every day, in big ways and small ways that are so insignificant we don’t even realize it. But when we take the time to catch our breath, we realize what we have right here and now. And it’s the here and now that really matters.



Right now, I am incredibly blessed.


Linking up with this incredible woman who’s blog I just recently started reading.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

2 Responses

  1. ioan

    Da Paty esti! ai doi copii frumosi, destepti si (pina acum Sofia cel putin) foarte cuminti, plus un sot nemaipomenit…

  2. ewa

    Niewazne gdzie sie mieszka, dom jest tam gdzie jest twoja rodzina i milosc.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On Google PlusVisit Us On Pinterest